Throughout my life I have heard the words “get over it” both directed at me and to others from many people everywhere; I bet you have too. The words seem to be a catch-all phrase for those who say it. I can guess that when it’s their time to hear it from another, it doesn’t sound very comforting. It’s not.

Getting over something generally means that it is gone and forgotten, like a common cold or a case of poison ivy. We can’t get over a bad break-up, the loss of a pet or loved one but we can move forward. Moving forward and getting over something are two completely different things. Perhaps both are a way of coping but moving forward might just serve us better.

We all heal both emotionally and physically at our own pace. We each move forward at our own pace as well. In my experience, moving forward is easier and more liberating than simply “getting over it.” Perfectly sensitive people are emotional from the heart so working through situations at our/your own pace is what brings each of us peace. I don’t believe that there is a such thing as too sensitive; we work things out very differently from one another because we are all unique, every single one of us.

There are crumbs that we leave behind when we move forward. Those crumbs are bits and pieces of the past. They aren’t left on purpose so that we may find our way back, they are left so that when we do look back, we can see how far we’ve come. It’s okay to remember things that have happened but whether they were good things or bad things, we can never got back there and we wouldn’t want to go back because we miss out on what is happening right now.

Every memory can be a lesson. We can choose whether to do things the same way and get a different or similar result than we hope for or we can change the way we do it again based on past experience. Every memory can bring joy to our hearts or anxiety to our minds. How you decide to deal with it is a choice, a decision you make for you. I urge you not to make the mistakes I’ve made by basing my choices on the pressure and happiness of someone else even when I knew better; it never works out for your best and often not for theirs either. The result is an unhappy recipient and a hurt, sad self. Many people are not happy nor satisfied no matter how hard you try so it’s necessary to put your energy toward your emotional wellness rather than theirs.

Every decision is up to you. Whether you choose to get over it or to move forward, do what is right for you. You are the only one who knows what that is and you need to own it. Often, my gut and my head spoke opposing views to me and I too often went with my head to avoid conflict, physical and emotional pain, and I lived in fear. I slowly changed my ‘go-to’ choice and stuck with my gut feeling. That brought fear but it also brought self-care and emotional peace.

I’ve moved through some pretty horrific times in my life, times that I will never wish to return to, times I wish to get over but have instead moved forward past them where I can look back and feel blessed that I made it through to these better moments in life.

In many ways it is easier for me to stop being a people pleaser today than it was fifty, forty-three, thirty years ago, ten years ago, even just one year ago. Taking good care of myself helps me take care of others those of which are of my choosing. I see those crumbs of times gone by but the better picture for me is what today brings and what lies ahead.

Even with these tough times of Covid-19, I can keep my chin up and my foot forward knowing that everything changes. I can be the change I wish to see in my world and it will surely extend into our world at its own pace.

Be free. Stand tall.

~Dawn