Do you feel overwhelmed but still empty? I do.

I have suddenly realized that my entire life has been a steady stream of being a caretaker. I thought I had to throw all of my irons on the fire. I had to shuffle them around to meet the demands of others. Of course, I expected and enjoyed taking care of my kids when they were young; I didn’t expect to have to do it alone. I didn’t want to have to but that’s how it turned out. I love my kids (now men) and would do it over again if I had to. My kids were not the issue. All the adults who were [and those who still are] demanding is my issue. I repeat, my issue. It’s time for me to take a step back and pull some irons out of the fire.

Change is inevitable. Accepting change and more importantly, making change is in my opinion, life-saving. Being flexible, easygoing and accommodating is important in a peaceful home/life until being too flexible, easygoing and accommodating becomes painful. Emotionally and physically painful. When you realize that this is happening, it’s time for you to take some irons out of the fire.

When you don’t say “no” even though you want to, you only neglect yourself. When you say “yes” to others, you’re saying “no” to yourself. You’re telling yourself, ‘no, I don’t need the time to rest. No, I don’t need time to take care of my own needs. No, I don’t need to regroup, plan ahead and no, I don’t need personal time. No, I don’t need to do the work I dream of doing’. Your body and mind hears what you’re telling it. When you say no to yourself, your body hears you don’t feel that you matter. Change your attitude toward yourself. You matter.

If you tell someone that you can’t help this time, do you think they won’t find another way? They will. Who is there for you when you need help? If you’re a giver, the takers will take. And take. And take. All your irons will be red hot and there will be no more left for you to use.

Your body needs you to be rested, healthy and nourished with proper food and lifestyle nourishment. Your body depends on you more than others do. Take care of it before it burns out like the fire that has no oxygen and no fuel.

How many irons do you have in the fire? How many are you willing to pull out of the fire for your best health and your best self? When will you finally be the caretaker to yourself? If not now, then when? If not you, then who?