Portion im-Perfection

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For the past year or so a lot has happened – to me personally, and to everyone in the world – literally. This has caused me, or rather allowed me to exhale long and slow. With that brought indulgences.

I have been awakened to my portion sizes of my dinner meals. I cook healthy foods 90% of the time but for some reason that gave me permission to have a lot more veggies or a lot of lean meat. I dismissed the fact that while I don’t lean on counting calories, the amount of food I eat adds calories, a too many, even if they aren’t empty calories, they add up. I scroll through Instagram, the web or social media and see so many delectable foods, recipes, and such beautiful plating and it’s inspiring. The majority of plates I see are fairly filled to the edges but the most beautiful and inviting meals are the ones that have just enough food on them. Seeing the perfect portion to fuel our bodies reminds me to slow down when eating, taste, feel, smell and thoroughly enjoy the food that is presented.

Food is meant to fuel our fine-tuned body. Mealtime is meant to slow us down, to be in the moment, to gather with family and/or friends and connect. Even when we are in a position that we eat alone, it can be a time to be in the moment, reflect on the day ahead or the day behind us.

Eating is necessary but we need not overindulge. Take a step back and reset your mealtime habits. Take note of how you fill your plate. Take note of how your food smells, looks and tastes. Be aware of when you’re feeling satisfied and take note of how much is on your plate at that moment of satiety. Use that as your guide when you serve yourself in future meals and whittle down your imperfect portion until it is perfect.

Happy, healthy, eating!

My Habit vs. My Goal

  • and coleslaw with plain Greek yogurt and spice dressing
    My Habit
  • My Goal
  • My Habit

Self-Awareness is part of Self-Healing and Growth – It is not Selfish!

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Every New Dawn is a Time to Renew

I am free.
I am whole.
I am good.
I am kind.
I am not the negative energy that others tried to fill me with.
I am not made of the stones that others threw at me.
I am not weak like the sticks that were hurled my way.
I am sometimes fragile but never frail.
I can be counted on by others and for myself.
I am a bright light in the middle of someone’s dark day.
I am enough.
I love enough.
I do enough.
I can do more.
I am open to fantastic adventures.
I am content when I need to be.
I am God’s child.
I am loved.
I am not broken.
I am vital.

I’m Learning to “Let Go” by Practicing Small Acts of Letting Go

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As anyone who has had to deal with trauma at some point in their life knows, it’s hard to let it go. It’s not that we want to hold onto it, it’s just that things in daily life sometimes stop us in our tracks and hit us like a tidal wave – a tidal wave of emotions and sometimes reliving an experience. With professional help and hope, those moments lessen, don’t last as long and eventually get pushed to the back of the line.

I had my share plus some of trauma from childhood and into adulthood. I’ve worked on releasing my past for many years; and for those who haven’t had devastating physical and/or emotional trauma, it’s not easy to release. My hope would be that more people had good experiences without trauma in their lives but I have learned that there are more people who have had traumatic experiences, similar to mine.

PTSD – is very real and not limited to military personnel and veterans. PTSD is serious. It causes anxiety, depression, discomfort among many other feelings and it’s different for everyone. My feeling is once I can get past being shaken by a memory, accept the memory and move forward in my activity, I can heal from PTSD. I speak for myself because I’m not trained in psychotherapy – I’ll leave the professionals to do their job.

Moving on to practicing small acts of letting go.

I recently had a situation that has no need for details to tell you what it did for me. In the past, I’d have been angry still and thinking about what that person did to me versus what the situation did for me. I’ve always been a glass half-full kind of gal. I usually give people the benefit of the doubt, see the good in people, ignore red flags and such. Over time more recent, I have been allowing myself to see people for whom they truly are rather than who I want them to be. This has become a huge release of negativity inside of me. I can honestly say that it has lifted my mind as well as my heart, stomach and lungs. Each time I release them from my emotional heart, it’s like a fresh air breeze hit me and twirled me around into a new space.

How can you do this? Take a small situation that upsets you and try to view it differently than your typical go-to reaction. Sure, allow yourself to be upset, but don’t let it fester. Instead of being stuck on the details of the situation, take a mental look at the person involved. Ask yourself if he/she is a taker, energy suck, if they seem to always act/react this way or if it was a once in a lifetime random flaw. When you see the person for who they truly are, you may be able to dislocate from them.

In doing this practice, it has been allowing my traumatic experiences in my past, be recognized and filed into files of the past. For so long I have thought that what happened to me, defined who I am today. By letting people in my current life go, it is helping me to move away from my past. I can’t honestly say that I have forgiven those people who hurt me, but I can see them for who they were instead of who I wanted them to be, who they should have been but weren’t. A few of them have died and I didn’t mourn their death, I mourned the fact that they would never be who I thought they should be; protective, loving and caring, because they are gone. I also came to realize that I am that person to my kids; I am the parent that I wish I had. I love my kids, will never hurt them and will never despise nor insult them. Even though they are adults now!

Start today. Try one small act of letting go. See a situation for exactly what it is or a person for exactly who they are to you. How someone treats you, says more about them than it does about you. Learn to free yourself from those who take advantage, who see you as weak or who think of only themselves.

Share your thoughts or ask me anything.

Each day starts new, you can too.

Thinning Hair & Hair Health

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Your hair, nails and skin growth and health come from the inside. Each of these is fed from our blood. Sometimes we might be lacking certain nutrients, minerals and vitamins which can be boosted by the food we eat and supplements. My personal go-to choices and suggestions to my health coaching clients are to use whole food-based supplements versus chemical (man-made) compounds. They’re not as hard to find as it might seem.

First, healthy hair, skin & nails vitamins & minerals are A, B – Biotin, C, D3, E, Iron & Zinc. Melatonin is also beneficial especially when applied topically. Topical sprays and foams are available. I can guide you and I will attach links to each supplement I would use and or suggest but first a quick guide to how each vitamin helps.

Vitamin A

  • Keeps cells healthy, helps produce sebum which keeps hair/scalp & skin healthy. Sweet potatoes, carrots, pumpkins, spinach and kale are all high in beta-carotene, which is turned into vitamin A.
  • Vitamin A can also be found in animal products such as milk, eggs and yogurt. Cod liver oil is a particularly good source.
  • Too much vitamin A can cause hair loss, coarse hair, dry rough skin, cracked lips
  • Recommended daily amount per Mayo Clinic is 700 mcg for women.

Vitamin B & Biotin

  • B-vitamins help create red blood cells, which carry oxygen and nutrients to the scalp and hair follicles
  • B-vitamins from foods include whole grains, almonds, meat, fish, seafood and dark, leafy greens.
  • Animal foods are the only good sources of vitamin B12
  • Niacin, riboflavin, thiamin and pantothenic acid, folate are all B vitamins – a good B complex would be good. I take Thorne myself as it has everything the body requires to function well. Amazon link for Thorne B Complex

Vitamin C

  • Antioxidant
  • Helps the body create the protein known as collagen
  • Helps your body absorb iron a necessary mineral for hair growth

Vitamin D3 (taking magnesium with D will help absorption)

  • Feeds the cells and aids in the production of healthy hair follicles
  • Research also shows that vitamin D may help create new follicles — the tiny pores in the scalp where new hair can grow
  • Food sources are fatty fish, cod liver oil, some mushrooms and fortified foods

Vitamin E

  • Helps prevent oxidative stress and boost hair growth.
  • Food sources are sunflower seeds, almonds, spinach and avocados

Iron

  • Helps red blood cells carry oxygen to your cells. This makes it an important mineral for many bodily functions, including hair growth.
  • Iron deficiency, which causes anemia, is a major cause of hair loss. It’s especially common in women.
  • Food sources are clams, oysters, eggs, red meat, spinach and lentils.

Zinc

  • Helps hair and tissue growth and repair
  • Keeps the oil glands around the follicles functioning properly
  • Hair loss is a common symptom of zinc deficiency (14Trusted Source, 15Trusted Source).
  • Studies show zinc supplements reduce hair loss caused by zinc deficiency
  • However, there are some anecdotal reports that supplementing with too high of a dose can also contribute to hair loss. (Kayla McDonell, RD August 6, 2016)
  • For this reason, it may be better to get your zinc from whole foods. (Kayla McDonell, RD August 6, 2016)
  • Foods high in zinc include oysters, beef, spinach, wheat germ, pumpkin seeds and lentils.

Protein

  • Hair IS protein. It’s made up of entirely protein. Eating enough protein daily is important for hair growth as well as muscles.
  • Side note: Protein is not always more slimming for the body though it helps. If a person is overweight and doesn’t burn off as much or more energy than they consume, protein can/will turn to fat stored in the body.

I hope all of this helps. A good quality multivitamin is beneficial. AS I stated earlier, a whole food vitamin will be absorbed by the body much better than a typical, cheaper chemical compound vitamin brand.

Daily Multivitamin Supplements: Here are some that I either use, have used and recommend in order of preference

Supplements for hair growth: I have not used but these are in line with needs for thin/thinning hair. They can be found online and some are available at CVS

  • Nutrafol – Nutrafol   – it’s quite expensive but claims it works based on studies
  • Keranique – Keranique
  • Spring Valley Hair, Skin & Nails this is a good brand, [I use their echinacea/goldenseal root as I find it as the brand that works best for me and many other’s I have given it to.] Can be found in grocery stores, Walmart, Walgreens and online.
  • OLLY for Hair – Olly

According to the dermatologist, androgenetic alopecia, hypothyroidism, low levels of vitamin D and iron are among the most common reasons behind hair loss. – (Michelle Henry, clinical instructor at Weill Cornell Medical College)

Bottom line in my professional opinion based on research I’ve done is to take either a daily multi-vitamin and/or one of the supplements I’ve listed. If you choose to take both, I would start with one at a time, giving it 2 months before starting the other one. If you prefer to take only one, I would try the “hair supplements” first. All recommendations I have found in my research recommends to give all focuses at least 6 months to see/feel an improvement. In my holistic nutrition training I’ve learned that every change needs 4 months minimum; whether it be diet, supplements, or exercise.

I hope this little bit of information helps you regain healthy hair & skin. Message me or comment with questions if you have any and I’ll do my best to find the answers!

My research is based on my many years of knowledge and experience being a hairstylist and found from reputable websites/universities/government studies from US, UK, Australia.

Your hair, lifestyle and food coach, Dawn

Learning How to Un-see Ourselves as Others Have Seen Us

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I was recently asked “What’s the worst impact a little joke has had on you?”. It didn’t take long to give an answer. While many jokes have been pulled on me, this one specific so-called joke shaped how I felt about myself at a young age.

I was about five years old when my parents forced me to do something that I immediately was horrified at; I was so young yet I felt how degrading it was. One day before going out, to run errands I suppose, my parents tied one of my father’s brown socks around my neck. I tried to take it off as they and my older brother was laughing at me. My parents said that every kid had to wear a brown sock for the day. I asked why my brother didn’t have to wear one, he is just 18 months older than me after all. They replied that only kids with brown eyes had to wear it. I cried and pleaded to take it off but they wouldn’t allow it.

We all got into the car and while riding to our destination I pulled at the sock sobbing while they laughed and ridiculed me. They kept reminding me that if I took it off, I would be in trouble. I felt unloved, degraded, no good and ugly.

As I look back on that “joke”, my heart still feels the pain and ridicule. I was also told too often that I was full of (expletive) and that’s why my eyes are brown. I have hated my brown eyes since those younger days of my life. I’m not sure where that idea came from nor do I know why or how a parent could treat a child with such hatred and insult. I never held my brother’s laughter about the situation against him as he was also young and just following my parent’s lead. It simply baffles me that they would come up with such a sick, cruel-hearted stunt.

That joke played a large part in how I viewed myself for many, many years; maybe it still plays a part in how I see myself today. I try not to believe the cruel words said to me and all the cruel things that were done to me. I try not to think of them, I want to leave it all in the past but things happen on a daily basis, to all of us, that bring up the memories of dark times in our lives. I suppose writing about it, talking about it and trying to make sense of it is a way to overcome it.

Things from our past can shape our behaviors and likes and dislikes today. Perhaps that’s why I cannot tolerate turtleneck shirts or anything even slightly snug around my neck. Maybe I rarely look at myself in the mirror, I mean really see who I am, because of these brown eyes. Who knows and honestly, who cares — it’s not who I am. I’m not an ugly brown-eyed little girl anymore. I’m still very self-conscious and with low self-esteem but I can guarantee that I raised my boys to be self-confident and with support and encouragement to do and be anything they feel deep in their beings. I also regularly let them know that they were (still are in my opinion) adorable, cute and handsome, etc.

My current self-therapy is to undo how I have always seen myself and create a new vision of who I am. I strive to erase the negative self-description that I was taught and replace it with the reality of who I am and what I look like; not an easy feat. I’m not working to over-value myself, just to find a healthy and confident base.

So let me ask you the same question that was posed to me, “What’s the worst impact a little joke has had on you?” How has that shaped who you are today?

In light and love,

Dawn

There Will Always Be Endings and New Beginnings

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Lily – her favorite place to be was laying in the backyard soaking up the sun and watching the wildlife.

Change is always going to happen whether we like it or not. Almost three weeks ago I had to help my dog cross that rainbow bridge. My heart is aching. Still. Despite knowing that she was almost 13 years old and that there was nothing anyone could do to make her better, it was traumatic for me. Making that call is traumatic for most people who have to undertake that role whether it’s to help a pet or a family member. It doesn’t get easier with each passing day, it just gets familiar.

Lily was my girl that had to leave me and her sister Addie and our newly acquired pup, that was my mother’s Boston terrier, Lacy. Lacy seems indifferent about Lily’s absence but Addie seems to miss her. I tried to thin out the dog bed situation but Addie would have none of it as she climbed atop the pile of memory foam and round dog beds that were Lily’s. When I feed the two remaining, Addie looks for Lily’s dish then looks to me as if questioning where is she?

Lily was my first pup after having to put down my greyhound Snowy…he took a big part of my heart when he passed. Lily brought comfort and so much love after two years of being dog-less. Lily was sensitive and very intuitive. She would lean on anyone who cried, run to my mother if she sneezed, and she laid her head on my chest when I had asthma attacks. She was such a sweet, sensitive, mushy girl.

Lily was also very well behaved and a silent tattle-tale. If Addie was getting into something that she shouldn’t have, Lily would come to me and sit pressingly close while looking away from the area that Addie was in. Each time she did this, I would ask, “what’s Addie up to”? and sure enough she was tearing tissues from the trash or papers from my office.

After a long and wrenching day with my mother I would come home to be greeted by happy dogs. Lily was a leaner and being sensitive to other’s anxieties she quickly drew out the stress and negativity from me. Each night while unwinding, watching TV, she would lay beside me, often between Dale and me, with her paw, her head or her back touching me – connection. I miss those puppy hugs that she gave so well.

This part of being a pet parent completely stinks. We all miss you sweet girl. I believe you are with your adopted siblings from years past and making new friends. I know that we will see each other again. Thank you for being my girl, for helping me through some tough times and for always being happy to see me no matter what.

Change will always happen and it won’t always feel good but with each passing day it get’s more familiar and we learn to accept what is. We need to embrace the good things in our lives because there will always be endings and new beginnings.

I’m Still Learning…

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When we were young, we absorbed more information than we thought possible for a child. We learned how to cope and cooperate in our family in order to please and “be liked”. No child should have to work to be loved but it happens every day for many children.

The words our parents and grandparents speak to us as children become the foundation of our molded lives. We learn what is acceptable and what isn’t. We learn what behaviors please them and we use those words and actions to make them happy with us – (as if we have that power). We are taught that we do have that power by their reactions to our actions. When we learn what pleases them, we file it into our young minds for future use.

Eventually, through all that learning, a child becomes an adult and applies all the information that has been learned and stored away in their everyday lives. With a healthy, loving upbringing, we have a sturdy foundation and we move through life confidently. With a healthy foundation, as serious issues pop up in life, we hopefully can navigate them with ease and grace. If as a child we learned how to navigate daily life by metaphorically walking on eggshells, we might have a less sturdy/healthy foundation.

As children my brothers and I walked on eggshells. We were careful to speak, careful to take action, and careful not to “rock the boat”. So not to speak for others I will speak for myself in saying that those learned behaviors followed me into my adult life right up to this very day. I’m now learning to embrace healthy behaviors and drown out the survival-modes of my past. It’s not a simple task when the words of bitter and angry parents are still in your head with every decision or action you make.

I haven’t been very good at releasing negative words that were fired at me. I find myself hearing them while doing menial tasks as if they are current ramblings of the day. I also find myself believing some of the lies and hurtful words before I snap back to the present moment and try to force them out. I’m learning how to build a new foundation – a healthy, positive foundation.

Has there been a time when you felt worthless if you couldn’t make someone close to you happy? Have you ever felt unloved by a parent, grandparent or other prominent relative?

Just because someone speaks their opinion about you, it doesn’t make it true. If anyone told you that you were ugly, simple, stupid, useless, worthless, or any negative attack words, you don’t have to believe them. When you were a child, you had to comply with the expectations of a parent but you don’t/didn’t have to carry it into your adult life.

I became the kind of parent to my kids that I hoped to have growing up. I was strict but I was fair and respectful toward my little humans. I allowed them to have and express opinions on things. I allowed them to find their place in the world. I firmly and lovingly guided them while helping to build their foundation for life.

Life isn’t easy all the time. There are moments when you think, “boy, it doesn’t get better than this”, but those moments don’t stay forever. Everything changes. Even bad moments don’t last and for that we are all thankful I am quite sure of that. Change is inevitable but change is also a choice for many situations. It starts with wanting something to be different and personally making that happen. For me that means erasing the angry actions and words that were slung at me from today so I can replace them with healthy inner thoughts. The past will always pop up especially when triggered but it should never be welcomed to stay.

Be confident in yourself today. Give yourself the support you didn’t have back then when learning how to navigate obstacles in the world. Let those negative experiences come but also let them leave. Use positive self-talk to force the hurt out and embrace who you are today and who you can be tomorrow.

Stand Tall ~ Stay Mighty

Breaking Point

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Everyone has a breaking point and that point is different for each situation and different for each person.

I have an extended breaking point. I give people the benefit of the doubt, I have a lot of patience and I care about other’s happiness a lot, maybe to a fault. I give to the point of neglecting my own needs. I’ve been making great improvements in that area; I’m beginning to take care of myself better.

Sometimes, maybe often, when you make changes that support your best health those around you find it inconvenient – they find you selfish if you’re unavailable for their needs. Don’t let that halt your self-care. Self-care is not selfish.

Think of times when someone said or did something to you that felt uneasy, rude, aggressive and even offensive. Remember how that made you feel deep inside your belly? Your head? What kind of response did you have? Did you defend yourself or did keep it inside to fester and mess with your peace? Maybe someone sat in your home and arrogantly snickered at your accomplishments or your certificates on display that made them roll their eyes and poke fun as if your accomplishments were no great feat. Maybe it was your family member who never asked how you were doing or if you dared to mention that you felt off that day, they disregarded you and turned the subject to be all about them. Is your time taken advantage of or disrespected? Are your professional services treated with disregard? Are you often talked down to? Does someone too often disagree with your opinions, statements or feelings? Do they deny saying or doing something that you know for a fact they said or did? The people that behave that way are not your people.

You aren’t responsible for anyone’s gratification, happiness, sense of superiority, nor do you need to play along. It’s not your job to be uplifting to anyone’s insecurities. Your job is to uplift your consciousness. Fulfill your desires, dreams, goals and accomplishments – no one can do that for you, just as you can’t for anyone.

I’ve beat myself up over the years by first being available for everyone at any given moment and then by allowing them to insult, discourage and use me and my time. I followed that with being angry at myself for not standing up for my best health, both mentally and physically. Somewhere along the way, more recently, I have had enough, I broke. I broke those behaviors that hurt me and decided that it’s time to finally take care of myself first so that I may be more in touch with those I choose to help in the future. I have found who is for me and who is not for me.

I can be angry that it took so many years and so many abuses but that doesn’t help me; it doesn’t erase history nor experiences. I choose to start today with the knowledge and sophistication that I have brought to existence personally.

Don’t be a punching bag. Don’t disregard and underplay your accomplishments and needs to suit anyone else no matter what. Be your true and beautiful, best self.

Every new day is a chance to start over. Every New Dawn begins again.

I Took time to Re-energize, Have you lately?

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This year has been challenging for everyone. Covid-19 has reconstructed how we go about our daily lives; no one in the world is exempt. It has caused exhaustion, anxiety, doubt, sadness, depression, fear and so much more. Many of us, myself included, have forgotten that it is necessary to take a step back or a time out to just be.

I was pleasantly reminded of how important a “time out” is this past weekend. My sister-in-law spent the summer working on Martha’s Vineyard at the campground she stays at. She is making steps toward her dream of living on the vineyard and she is inspiring.

I am so blessed to have been able to spend the weekend on the vineyard with her and my brother. We walked miles of beach, collected shells, inhaled the fresh, clean ocean air, we got our feet wet, we gazed at the tide rolling out and back in, we learned that where we have walked in life isn’t the path we are stuck with. The waves kissed our feet and renewed our footprints teaching us to glance back but make sure your move forward. As I stood on the shore I let the waves wash over my feet and drag the negative emotions and the toxic people I have dealt with away. I exhaled slowly with every departing wave.

I was away for three days but it felt like three weeks. We didn’t have a schedule. We didn’t watch the clock. We didn’t plan every minute of the days. We flowed with the tide, the sun and our innermost spirit-guide.

Upon returning home, I feel renewed. I feel a sense of calm. I have been re-enlightened in the direction I want to guide myself and my life -wellness clients.

Have you taken a much needed time out recently? Do you need one? What simple things might you be able to do to allow yourself to be re-energized? If you’re not quite sure, email me, I can help guide you.

Until next time, stay salty, stand tall and be mighty!

Get Over It vs. Move Forward & The Crumbs You Leave Behind

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Throughout my life I have heard the words “get over it” both directed at me and to others from many people everywhere; I bet you have too. The words seem to be a catch-all phrase for those who say it. I can guess that when it’s their time to hear it from another, it doesn’t sound very comforting. It’s not.

Getting over something generally means that it is gone and forgotten, like a common cold or a case of poison ivy. We can’t get over a bad break-up, the loss of a pet or loved one but we can move forward. Moving forward and getting over something are two completely different things. Perhaps both are a way of coping but moving forward might just serve us better.

We all heal both emotionally and physically at our own pace. We each move forward at our own pace as well. In my experience, moving forward is easier and more liberating than simply “getting over it.” Perfectly sensitive people are emotional from the heart so working through situations at our/your own pace is what brings each of us peace. I don’t believe that there is a such thing as too sensitive; we work things out very differently from one another because we are all unique, every single one of us.

There are crumbs that we leave behind when we move forward. Those crumbs are bits and pieces of the past. They aren’t left on purpose so that we may find our way back, they are left so that when we do look back, we can see how far we’ve come. It’s okay to remember things that have happened but whether they were good things or bad things, we can never got back there and we wouldn’t want to go back because we miss out on what is happening right now.

Every memory can be a lesson. We can choose whether to do things the same way and get a different or similar result than we hope for or we can change the way we do it again based on past experience. Every memory can bring joy to our hearts or anxiety to our minds. How you decide to deal with it is a choice, a decision you make for you. I urge you not to make the mistakes I’ve made by basing my choices on the pressure and happiness of someone else even when I knew better; it never works out for your best and often not for theirs either. The result is an unhappy recipient and a hurt, sad self. Many people are not happy nor satisfied no matter how hard you try so it’s necessary to put your energy toward your emotional wellness rather than theirs.

Every decision is up to you. Whether you choose to get over it or to move forward, do what is right for you. You are the only one who knows what that is and you need to own it. Often, my gut and my head spoke opposing views to me and I too often went with my head to avoid conflict, physical and emotional pain, and I lived in fear. I slowly changed my ‘go-to’ choice and stuck with my gut feeling. That brought fear but it also brought self-care and emotional peace.

I’ve moved through some pretty horrific times in my life, times that I will never wish to return to, times I wish to get over but have instead moved forward past them where I can look back and feel blessed that I made it through to these better moments in life.

In many ways it is easier for me to stop being a people pleaser today than it was fifty, forty-three, thirty years ago, ten years ago, even just one year ago. Taking good care of myself helps me take care of others those of which are of my choosing. I see those crumbs of times gone by but the better picture for me is what today brings and what lies ahead.

Even with these tough times of Covid-19, I can keep my chin up and my foot forward knowing that everything changes. I can be the change I wish to see in my world and it will surely extend into our world at its own pace.

Be free. Stand tall.

~Dawn